I learned to live half alife

I love Francisco Lachowski, totally my type of guy

I love Olsen's a lot a lot a lot too they are awesome

So anyway i broke down yesterday, crying after tuition.

No it wasn't my tutor's fault even tho he did scold me as usual. I don't know how to say, it's like, he triggered it. The built-up pressure and stress from my daily school life, from those around me. All he had to do was tell me one sentence and i could just break down and start crying. But no, i didn't cry in front of him anyway, i didn't allow myself to. I didn't want him to blame himself for me crying anyway cause i know it's really not his fault. Ok maybe my pressure includes him scolding me all the time, but no i didn't cry just because of that.

But it felt good. Finally crying it all out, like 'whoosh' everything is coming out. I'm not keeping anything back, or trying to act like i'm fine with all the school pressure and stress and that i'm really happy and perfect with my life now. Because that's a lie. I hate it when i have to face all the school works and everything but i know i can't dodge the reality forever.

But suddenly, i can' wait to leave for China. It just simply means an escape route for me. But then if i were to think about returning back from China, then i'll be banged right back into reality - to go for my remedial and tuitions so i can catch up with the school work.

Got to go and head for my bed before i start dozing off in the study room

Gudnite world